Permanent Head Damage – PhD
The title of this piece of writing is a bit funny and weird. Apparently it is a distortion of the coveted PhD degree that now-a-days every professional is after. The number of people pursuing PhD has skyrocketed in the recent days. It is an unprecedented phenomenon in the academic and professional world. Traditionally doctors were the respected people in any community because of their expertize to cure you and restore your health. With a tablet, with a few questions, a few taps, pats and observations they know what is the problem and which pill to take care of the pain or discomfort. Sure, they are respectable, knowledgeable people who saves lives. Then came along research and anyone who does much deep independent work was given the degree Doctor of Philosophy. They also put Dr. as a prefix confusing the general public. Now when you see Dr. in front of a name board, you wonder if it is a medical doctor who can help you or not. And of course quacks who practice medicine also put the same prefix for their names. And the trend gathered momentum over the years and it is an epidemic everywhere.
In general society, we are almost sure that every respectable person needs to have a PhD and so we assume that he or she is a Dr. It is funny that In meetings or conferences, almost everyone who is on the stage gets addressed by a Dr. prefix. In India, similar to what ‘Sir’ suffix attributes respect for anyone, ‘Dr.’ prefix attributes knowledge for anyone.
The other day I was part of a panel discussion on “The PhD journey”. There were few of us who completed the degree while there were several who are in various stages of their doctoral research. It was meant to be sharing of the experiences for the benefit of the number of people in the organization.
Towards the end of the discussion, one of the panelists asked a question about a slide which showed the knowledge circle. The question was simple: Imagine two people who work in the same field. One completed her PhD two years back and another is working towards his degree. Who will be more knowledgeable about the current developments in the field? The one with the degree or the one who is yet to get his? Someone in the audience replied without much hesitation “The one who is working towards the degree”.
It seemed everyone in the audience agreed.
I was alarmed. Really?
A person who was searching out current developments and reading all the journal articles couple of years back, is out of touch now and is deadwood? No more spark of inquisitiveness? No spirit of inquiry? No curiosity to find out what else others are doing in the field? No interest to find out who else built up further on your work? All the years of toil was to reach that final point of rest just like a 100 meter sprint? When you adorned the “cap and gown”, was it a signal to hang up your thinking cap? Was the ultimate purpose of four years of slogging, to take a picture of you in “cap and gown” with your loved ones and display the framed degree on your office wall?
The presumption is that a person who has got her PhD has completed a course and she moves on with regular life and there is no more need to search out new stuff. She knows it all. After all she is a ‘Dr.’, where as the person who is in pursuit of his degree is studying hard so that he will pass his examination, and hence will be in touch with the current developments in the field.
I tried to find out where is the logic coming from. These were possible reasons I came up with.
· You primary reason for taking a PhD is because it is a needed to get promotion and increase in salary
· Your understanding is that PhD is a degree like Masters where you complete certain set courses.
· Just like you did your Masters or Bachelors, you pass the exams, and that is the end of the degree requirement.
· You have not heard that most good universities insist that you need to continue to publish certain number of peer reviewed journal papers for further career advancement.
· You did not know that PhD is not required for a teaching career, but is only needed when you plan to do research and have a quest for more knowledge.
· One of the main reason for pursuing a doctoral degree is to add weight to your name with a Dr. prefix, or a PhD tail. Additionally the respectability is good to get around social circles including prominent seats on stage in meetings.
If, one or more of the above are the reasons that forced you to pursue a doctoral degree then there is a good chance that you will end up developing an inner phobia for journal articles, you tend to dismiss research done by others, you cultivate a puffed up and swollen ego that shows up often in the wrong places. That also means that you have ‘permanent head damage’. It may be a coincidence that the acronym is the same for ‘doctor of philosophy’. Since you already have a paper that says that a University has bestowed on you the degree after completing due processes and assessments, you can loiter around in any circle of researchers or conferences or meetings. In fact, if you know how to manipulate the right connections and is smart enough to be in the good books of the right people, you will gain a lot in life and be successful too. Because ‘Dr.’ is a good ladder for upward mobility.
When that is the expectation in the environment where you work, what can you possibly expect for yourself anyway? I am not at all surprised by the answer in the panel discussion, when the general perception is for anyone to pursue a doctoral degree for the above reasons.
India is a country with a messed up education system right from the KG to higher education.
· You may get interviewed by the playschool principal if you want admission for your 3 year old child.
· Government schools are a disgrace to education since a majority of them have run down physical infrastructure, empty classrooms, but overcrowded staff rooms. The staff are permanent staff whose have secure jobs with assured pension for life on retirement. There is no accountability and the staff come and go as they like. Most of the children of the teachers of government schools study in well organized English medium schools run by private organizations where the teachers may not have any job security but are under strict monitoring to keep standards.
· You can get into professional colleges that offer medical degrees by paying hefty under-the-table-fees because every parent want their child to become a doctor. It is a business where anyone can get admission if you have enough money to pay as capitation fees. Aptitude or quality has no place.
· People can go to any extend to manipulate to get their degree. An article that appeared in Times of India in February 2018 reveals that 75% of the doctorates in one of India’s respectable, old, public University have flouted procedures and norms. A well-oiled machinery is at work in University of Madras to award PhDs easily to those who pay or know the right people. https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/chennai/75-of-madras-university-phd-theses-violated-procedures/articleshow/63061749.cms
So academic institutions are getting filled with PhDs most of which had any rigor or oversight of standards. It is a decorative title. So what happens if there is a group of ‘damaged heads’ in an organization and you are one of them?
· You have a laid back attitude since you have reached the pinnacle and there is no place else to go but stay there. You are at the top of the knowledge mountain.
· Your ego is so bloated that you stop listening to anyone else.
· You tend to throw your weight around everywhere and insists that everyone listens to you
· You have a sense of entitlement and will grumble, scream and block others’ paths, if they don’t follow your opinion as orders.
· You look at other colleagues as lesser beings, at least in your mind. Your attitude raises it’s ugly head at times in meetings, discussions.
If you are a real PhD who went through the process to hone your inquisitiveness, and your curiosity is at a higher level now, you will be a loner. The real effect of pursuing a PhD should be that one gets to know more in-depth on a topic and have a curiosity that prompts you ask questions. You ask your questions and want to know more. So you move forward to formulating studies and conducts them systematically to find answers. The outcome of the studies brings out more knowledge and adds to the database of information available for others who will take it forward with further questions. An organization that has such a group of PhDs will be alive and kicking. They will advance and contribute to human progress.
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Others will remain permanently damaged, but will continue to claim scholarships and awards.
A company was hosting a get together for its employees. The speaker called 10 of the employees on stage and gave them each a balloon, a piece of thread and a pin. He asked them to inflate their balloons and tie with the thread. Once everyone had finished, he explained the game. “Starting now, you are free to do whatever you want to keep your balloon inflated. At the end of the next 10 minutes, those who are able to retain inflated balloons are the winners. Ready? 1-2-3. Start”
Quickly, there was a free-for-all. Each was trying to protect his balloon and was aggressively trying to prick others. At the end of 1 minute, none had inflated balloons. The game was over. Everyone looked accusingly at each other. More than being defeated, the shame of being foolish was written big on their faces.
The speaker asked, “What happened. Why none of you were not able to protect yourself?”
They all had different answers. It went like these:“I thought there was only one winner and so I focused on deflating others”“I tried to protect mine, but once mine was blown I went and pricked others”“I wanted to be on the offensive before others tried to deflate mine”“That seemed to be the ‘in’ thing. Everybody was targeting others and so did I too”“I didn’t think others will target me when theirs was gone. I assumed they will just be out”“It was easier to deflate, because it took only one prick whereas protecting mine was tough”“I didn’t have time strategize on my own, I just started following what others were doing”
The speaker laughed. “What did I tell you?” They replied, “Those who have inflated balloons at the end of 10 minutes are the winners”He asked again, “Did I tell you that you need to deflate others? Why did you think that deflating others is the same as keeping yourself inflated?”He went on, “Did you all have a chance to win?”They all said in unison, “Yes. If I didn’t destroy others, but focused on keeping my own all would have won”
He explained, “You automatically assumed that keeping your own is as important as destroying others because that way, you will be the only winner. None thought that there could be another winner along with you!”
He continued, “What do you think would have happened, if each of you did the following:A. All dropped the pin as soon as the game startedB. All kept the pin, but just focused on one’s own balloon and didn’t look at othersC. If you were pricked, you didn’t react, but stopped the cycle of destruction”
The lessons were clear.
They didn’t have to destroy each other to win. The idea that “I can only win if others are destroyed” is what caused total destruction.The truth was “When all win, I will still be a winner and the winning value is the same”.Comparison is what caused the negative feeling.Racing against each other is negative. Racing to one’s full extent is what is positive.Living and letting others live is one of the most important principles in co-existence and progress.You don’t have to look down upon someone to feel good. When more people with deflated balloons are there, it is easier to destroy the remaining ones quicker. The destruction has a domino effect. The game was over in 1 minute.When we defeat others, it is suicidal as it results in our own destruction.
Is this not happening around us in society? In families, in organizations, in communities, in political parties?Those who work together always win. That is a given universal truth established and proven throughout human history. Look at all the countries who are making progress technologically, socially – some in spite of the lack of natural resources, adverse climate, barren land, lack of agriculture, and scarcity of water.And look at those countries which are devastated with poverty, high mortality rate, chaotic social situations, despite very high natural resources, very scenic landscape, fertile land and plenty of water.The principle of pricking each other’s balloon is at work in those impoverished countries. If each just mind their own business – that itself will ensure progress. But if you cooperate with each other and look out for each other, the progress, advancement and success will be unparalleled. This is true for any family, organization, community, or country. When our ancestors have proved it throughout history, should we not learn in this generation? We should by all means.
We are given a wrong lesson early on in life – comparing with others and trying to defeat and overtake others to be the only winner. Instead we need to be taught early on that each of us is unique and each has to just keep doing our best to succeed in life. Our abilities are complimentary. Collaborating and looking out for each other can be that single magic pill to progress. Is it a difficult lesson to learn?
Acknowledgement: This piece is based on a short write up I got as a forward in a WhatsApp group!
The Rediscovered Olympic Spirit: The Story of Abbey and Nikki
Olympics is the ultimate stage for athletes around the world. The ace athletes everywhere dream & practice long years for that moment of glory on the Olympic victor’s stand. Let alone win, it is a great privilege to be selected to represent one’s country and get a chance to compete against the top talents from other countries.
Olympics is the best place of display for physical prowess in combination with mental alertness. Every millisecond counts. Every millimeter is precious. Every ounce matters. It is all about swiftness, agility, precision, strength, and stamina . The world celebrates the gold medal winner. The limelight is on the record breaker. They all come to grab the gold medal, break the world record and stand tall for their country. They want to show the world how they can run faster, jump higher and shoot sharper. They show their strength and agility in wrestling and gymnastics.
Rio2016 Olympics was no different. More than 11300 athletes came together from 207 countries. As they earned the medals, emotions flowed freely: they cried, screamed, jumped, rolled or ran around the stadium. They were able to beat others and occupy the victory stand. It was all about achievement, success, fame, limelight.
Yet in Rio2016, the story of Abbey D Agastinao and Nikky Kimbal stood out like no other. They were celebrated for a totally different reason. Everybody applauded them. TV and radio channels across the world heaped praises on them. Social media was teaming with positive comments. Everyone emphasized that Abbey and NIkky rediscovered the “the Olympic spirit”.
Abbey and NIkki were in the heats for 5000m. They didn’t know each other. But somewhere on the way they hit each other and fell down on the track. Nothing unusual. That happens in track at times. For a moment, they were lost. Suddenly Abbey got up and instead of running to catch up on the lost moments, she looked over, reached out quickly and picked up Nikki. They started running and then Abbey had severe pain and she limped and fell down. She urged Nikki to go on and save time. But Nikki didn’t. She returned the favor this time and picked up Abbey up and they ran. They were nowhere near the timing to get into the finals. But the world was watching. Everybody was stunned by this unbelievable, spontaneous display of concern for the competitor, the outpouring of genuine care without even caring about one’s own condition.

At that moment, they showed the world, that “it is nice to be important but it is more important to be nice”. They told the world that “you can be both a competitor and kind and responsive at the same time."
For sometime the chatter about world records, medal tallies, and cheating stopped.
Everybody was talking about the fabulous example this duo displayed so gracefully, so impulsively.
When they woke up that day to compete, they never thought they would have a historic moment like this. None of us also wake up for such moments. We are all in the fast track to win, to get past others. But for each of us, such moments will present once in a while, where we can show an unrehearsed act of kindness, spur-of-the-moment thoughtfulness. It might be an occasion to open the door for somebody, or let another person jump through the queue, vacate the seat for a woman with a child. But most of us may not even recognize such an opportunity because we are all focused on our own life’s troubles and dreams.
Abbey and Nikki were awarded a medal that surpassed the triple-triple of Usain Bolt and the 23 medal record of Micheal Phelps. This award, the Pierre de Coubertin medal, was only awarded 17 times in Olympic history and is reserved for athletes, volunteers or officials who are deemed to have demonstrated the Olympic spirit. Abbey and Nikki picked up the medal when they picked up each other on the tracks.
Abbey had to undergo surgery and may never be able to compete in another Olympics or in fact in any competitive sports. However, for Abbey and Nikki, it was not what they accomplished in terms of faster, higher, longer measurements. The Olympics sized big heart of consideration, compassion and concern for the fellow human being is what brought them the coveted medal.
Olympics is an event that happens once in four years. It is unique because this is the only event on planet Earth where the maximum number of people from all the countries come together to find out who is the best among them. They compete against each other, in the same pitch, on the same track trying to outsmart each other. But at the end of it, they are still able to shake hands with each other and retreat in grace.
At a time where hundreds of armed conflict zones exist across the world where men are killing each other, Olympics spirit stands out. The athletes from enemy countries are willing embrace each other and shake hands. How good it would have been if we had Olympics games across the world every year and we celebrate each other. If that happens, this world of ours – where we are killing each other - would be progressing much more. We would be making heaven on earth!
I posted this on my Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/specialeducationhub earlier. Posting it here so that visitors to website also can read it!
On July 4, 2016 we had about 30 deaf students and their parents come for admission to the Higher Education Foundation Program (HEFP) at NISH. HEFP is a program developed by us to build a foundation in English, Mathematics and Indian Sign Language so that the deaf student may be ready for a University level degree program. HEFP looks at the competency of the student at the end of each assessment period. Students who don't make progress exit. We guide each student to an appropriate practical short term program such as an ASAP course, hospitality course of ITDC or vocational program of VRC or Mitraniketan. Those who make progress in HEFP continue to complete one year before they attempt Degree Admission Competency Examination (DACE).
We spent time with each of the students who were selected for the HEFP after they failed to qualify in DACE conducted 10 days back. All of them have certificates that show that they have passed +2 exams. Some of them had A+ for all subjects. But the DACE answer sheets told a different story. None of them had the level of a primary school student. The parents didn't know this when they brought in their children to be admitted to the degree program initially. Now they realise 12 years of schooling had been a waste.I won't blame the parents for their ignorance. They had hoped and believed that the schools where they sent the children would teach them. Instead the schools gave them marks. Not knowledge. When a student sits in the classroom for 12 long years and do not know the alphabets or count to 100, what is the excuse?
I found the students so enthusiastic. Some were so elated that they are getting an admission to a foundation program with us. This is despite their initial desire to join a degree program and the disappointment of failing the DACE. Some of them had got admission to other colleges for degree programs, but chose instead to come and join the HEFP. The glimmer of hope in their eyes showed that they are eager to learn. But it is a fact that they won't be able to make up for the 12 years of criminal neglect in the schools. Too much time has been lost. A few will show progress. But for most others, a vocational course that requires practical knowledge than language comprehension may be appropriate. Most parents are disappointed when they saw the answer sheets. They wished somebody had told them these truths sooner. It cannot be justified in anyway that these parents and their children were kept in the dark about what was done all these years. At the end of the day, I was mentally tired after seeing the raw emotions of these people who were heart broken. They have the same dreams about their children as I have for mine. But they were deceived.
One thing we promised them at the end of the conversations yesterday - we will guide them the right way so that their child is successful. The lost years cannot be recovered, but a new path can be pursued - something with which that they can earn a living and be independent.
My concern is also for the students who are still in the system. They will come next year again with certificates that carry A+. And then again the cycle of disillusionment and disappointment.The system has to change. We have to stop deceiving these children and their families!
What will we do to make Jisha’s sacrifice worthwhile?
In 2012 when we heard the terrifying news that a young woman was brutally raped, mutilated and murdered in Delhi, it was easy to brush it off as cruelties of thugs in a big city. It was far away in Delhi anyway. It was easy to say 'this will never happen in our state'.
I remember speaking to our students, called to discuss the Nirbhaya case. "We cannot feel complacent because this crime happened somewhere far away. Today it is our responsibility to take steps to make sure this doesn't happen in our vicinity". There was a lot of hue and cry across the nation and even around the world. The culprits were booked and they went to jail. BBC brought out a film that the government chose to ban, rather than use it to acknowledge and call for a social change – a cure for a cancer that is spreading in our young minds. As time went by, we forgot Jyothi Singh and her sacrifice.
We never changed. We pretended it is not going to happen again. But the cancer was spreading across country. The decadent, festered, evil mind of another young man surfaced at a faraway place in 2016.
It happened right here, in the heartland of little Kerala!!
Not in a remote village ….
Not in the dark side of a city ….
Not at midnight when she was returning from a night club …
Not when she was clad in tight jeans and revealing clothes …
Not while she was roaming around with a boyfriend …
Not in a running bus on streets of a busy city ….
NO, NO, NO… That was not where it happened!
In her own home, where she was resting ….
Right in her own home, with good people living nearby …
In broad day light when all the good people were awake …
In the well-to-do, middle-class, educated community of Perumbavoor, Kerala.
It happened in our “God’s own country”
In a State which boasts of 100% literacy!
In a State which takes pride in social justice and social security!
In the State of Kerala where women are supposed to be liberated!
The last moments – The horrific suffering
She was raped and mutilated and killed. It is horrifying to read what happened, and it is still more horrifying to write what that man did to her. But I should write. I should not keep quiet. I need to write. Because, more is at stake than ever, for our society, our women, our daughters, our sisters, our mothers, our wives – human race itself.
I really don't know the extent of her suffering before her last breath.
Was she mutilated and stabbed before she was raped?
Was she killed and then raped and mutilated?
Was she conscious enough to know the pain as the sharp knife pierced her genitals?
Could she scream when she was attacked?
How much did she struggle and fight back?
How helpless did she feel under the grip of the senseless monster?
How scared was she, as evil looked down at her?
What was she thinking in those last moments?
Did she lose consciousness before she gave up?
What did he do once he knew that she was unconscious?
When did he let go and walk off with blood on his hands?
Was she breathing at that point when she was alone?
Could she have been saved if somebody knew at that time?
I don't know. I tread to think. I shiver. My eyes are tearing up!
It could have happened to anybody else whom I know. I have family in Perumbavoor, living there for more than half a century. Just because I don't know Jisha doesn't reduce the revulsion and shock and the sense of helplessness!
She was targeted because she was a woman.
It didn’t matter if she was a Dalit,
It didn’t matter if she was a Law student.
It didn’t matter if she lived under a flimsy thatched roof in a make-shift hut.
It didn’t matter what religion she believed in.
It didn’t matter which political affiliation she had.
It didn’t even matter what age she was.
The only criterion was her sex. She was considered weak and defenseless!
My anger is at the society that looks down on woman. My anger is at the family that tells woman to suffer silently. My anger is at the parents that bring up boys to treat women like dirt.
In our society,
A woman is a weakling
A woman cannot defend herself
A woman cannot raise her voice
A woman cannot make her own choices
A woman is asked to look down while walking
A woman has to be guarded by a man to be safe
A woman is raised up with a sense of fear and shame
A woman cannot feel secure on the streets after sun-down,
A woman cannot feel safe even in daylight in a deserted by-lane
This attitude has to change.
Why did he do it?
He is a criminal, he is a pervert, and he is a man whose thinking has been polluted and skewed. He might have been abused as a child, his young mind might have been traumatized with unspeakable cruelties, he might have been exposed to women being brutalized, his childhood may have been full of negative influences, and he must have watched numerous pictures and videos that portrayed sadism. This is not uncommon in our society where any type of information is available with a touch on the screen. Continuous exposure makes you create reality based on what you see. When positive influences don’t nullify those negativities, the dark reality tarries on and spreads through the mind like a cancer. Such minds are prone to act out their fantasies – having lost the ability to understand the consequences. Their conscience is numb and their ability to discern right from wrong is long lost. They rise to inflict destruction on their prey. And the society has to suffer!
A balanced person cannot do cruelty that harms another human being. A man with self-respect will not be disrespectful to others. A man with self-esteem will not humiliate another person. But none of us are perfect. We all have scars on our mind, hurts from others. But mind is so resilient to recover and go on. We keep getting hurt in life and we have our little nuances in behavior because of that. We still survive in a complex society with healthy relationships. But it is a different case when the mental wound becomes deeply infested sore and destroys the mind totally. In that state, the person is driven by sadistic, anarchist, evil thoughts. He is filled with hatred and is restless till he acts out. That is a mind to be dreaded.
What such a mind needs is a mental transformation. A cure for his sick mind. A healing of the deep, festering trauma within. If left to himself, he will continue to inflict unbearable pain and destruction on others around him. He will become more bold and will search out victims. Their place is behind bars till they can be restored to a healthy mind.
That brings us to the point, that this monster may not be an isolated case. There could be persons who are sitting next to us with similar thinking. The demon within is just waiting to act out in an apt situation, an isolated surrounding, a suitable time!
A needed change in thinking
It is important that boys are taught early on in life about respecting women. That starts with respecting their mother and sisters. A father who respects his child's mother is the first and best lesson for a son. He needs to see that respectful behavior day-in and day-out. Disrespecting a woman, making comments that make her uncomfortable, lewd looks that invades her privacy, touch that violates her person should not be tolerated.
It is a total change of mind that is needed in our hierarchical, patriarchal society that has practiced man's dominance for thousands of years. Society does not progress with the parochial mindset of looking down on women. We have to admit and accept that times have changed. It is no more a man's world. It will never be again! It is equally a woman's world. Women will be found now onwards in all sorts of places in society - pilots on fighter planes, drivers on public buses, engineers on high rise buildings, CEOs of corporations – places considered unattainable in the past.
This also means women should have the freedom to move around without fear any time, any place, alone or in company of anybody whom they choose, dress the way they feel to express themselves, take up any task they believe they can, study and learn as much as they want.
In our community, if a young woman is not married off by age 22 or 23 or at the most 25, eye-brows go up. The constant barrage of questions put forward with a false sense of sympathy is, "Couldn't you find a good boy?" No boy is asked this question. That is so depressing to the girls and their parents. Young women who want to be independent hate this question from their relatives and extended family. Some of them refuse to come to family or social gathering because of this annoying question. This question implies that a girl has to be under the care of a man; else she is insecure, useless, unwanted. NO. A woman can choose to marry or not. It is not like the 20th century or before where woman was under the care of man. Now she has the education, the economic independence to have a good life herself. She can be assertive.
Leave her alone! Let her be herself. Prepare her to have an independent, successful, fulfilling safe life in the society.
Henceforth, every girl child should be taught to stand up for herself, look other people in the eyes, react if a man makes her uncomfortable through his looks, comments, touch. She should be taught to defend herself without fear.
And the teenage girls, the young women, middle aged and elderly ladies who grew up listening to words of submission should consciously learn to assert themselves - within their families first and then outside. It is time, our society changed. It has to happen. It should. Now!
It is the men who need to change. The accepted male dominance they see in their families should change. The perverted and totally distorted image of sexuality and femininity portrayed by the internet images should not determine their attitudes.
We cannot wait anymore.
Women have to rise up and men need to rise up alongside. This is not about women alone. This is about us as a society. It is our safety that is at risk. Safety of those whom we love and care about! Our sisters, daughters, wives, mothers, aunts, grandmothers, nieces, friends, neighbors, colleagues … everyone whom we care about!
There has to be specific mandatory classes in schools, colleges and workplaces that can help develop balanced attitudes towards women. This has to be reinforced with positive images they see in the campus, at home, workplace, market place and everywhere else in society. A generational change in thinking is needed.
There should never be another woman who has to suffer like Jisha in our society! It is a shame! We have to erase that shame and regain our dignity through better treatment of our fellow human beings.
Let us do it for all women, one woman at a time! That is what we can do for Jisha!
A clear majority of the population we serve are children with congenital conditions – hearing and speech impairment, cerebral palsy, intellectual challenges, Down syndrome, multiple disabilities. They are from all sorts of backgrounds – economical, education, religious, racial, color – and it is apparent that all disabilities happen across all societal structures. Their innocent faces and playfulness, tells us that kids are just kids - everywhere. When they come to our facility, the children sit with the parent most of the time – unaware of the parent’s heart weighed down with anxiety and grief. The parents are mostly young mothers below thirty. This may be their first or second child. The expressions on their faces sometimes reveal what they are going through. Caring for the special needs child has changed their lives. On most days, while walking in the corridors I meet parents waiting for their turn in the diagnostic and therapy sessions. Once in a while, a young couple come to my room and they breakdown as they talk about their challenges. These parents and children have become part of my life and I realized that this experience has a long term effect on me as I watch kids everywhere.
I had to travel quite a lot recently and waiting at departure terminals has been an essential part. As I am forced to wait due to the delays or long transit time I spend some time working on my laptop, and rest of the time I just sit and watch the crowd passing by. Airports are busy places and I can see a lot of people going in a hurry. A lot of young families pass by with their young children – some on strollers, others hanging on to the parent’s fingers or yet others just running along. Some are busy eating, or asking questions, or running ahead, or pulling on their small carry-ons. If there are two or more, they may be busy chasing each other. Then there are families that sit in the adjacent seats with their children. The children will be running around playfully doing one thing or the other. Every place is a playground for them. They may have their own teddy bears or small toy cars. Some may be busy playing the video games on tablets. I watch them with a sense of fascination – as if I see such kids for the first time.
As I watch them, my heart gets a spontaneous, momentary refreshing feeling of joy. I look at the parents and see how unaware they are of their child, immersed in their own thoughts. Some may be watching their child with a smile – a carefree smile. Somehow I get a feeling of relief. Sometimes sitting there, I try to imagine the time when this child was born to the parents few years back and try to think of their emotions at that time. I try to picture those first few years. The child grew through natural development cycles. Smiled, walked on fours, stood up, started calling ‘dada’ and ‘mama’, took baby steps and on and on. Nothing to worry, no cares, no concerns. They are happy. I am so happy for them too! But then soon my mind gets back to the children and their parents who come to us. That reality puts me in a different perspective. I am more aware of our own responsibility to give the best services possible. We need to continuously improve on what we do so that we can get those parents to a state of mind that is worry free – just like these care free parents in front of me.
I also realize how we all take things for granted everyday. The parents with a special needs child have a different journey in life than that of a typically developing child. While one set of parents casually go through life’s events, not realizing the blessings bestowed on them, taking every developmental milestones for granted, the other set of parents have a path where every small advancement is eagerly noted and celebrated with a deep sense of relief and joy. The priorities in the path strewn with disappointments, depression, and loneliness are different from the other one. Possibly, the mere utterance of the word, “mama” gives much more ecstasy than when the typical child sings a nursery rhyme or reels out the alphabets. But they both deeply love their child and have the same emotions when their child cries or laughs. They both tightly hug their tiny-tot every day, wishing for a good future! Me too!
I realize my own unconscious emotional swing while watching the kids - one in the mother's lap or the one running around - is something that I have to take balanced so as to keep my perspectives right!
Addendum: I sit there and just move my fingers, speak to myself, hum a tune, or write a sentence and try to understand and appreciate how much complex mechanical, electrical and electronic process is executed within me every minute and how my system just responds without me conscious of any of those! Wonders of life!!
Blog entry by Dr. Samuel N. Mathew, Executive Director, NISH
Yesterday (January 2, 2016) I was part of discussions with a group of parents, lawyers, service providers and NGO representatives about a topic that needs urgent attention. – the need to prepare a Bill for the rights of children with intellectual disabilities. The meeting was organized by the Kerala State Commission for Protection of Child Rights. I came off with a number of insights. Heard stories that can break one’s heart – stories that require urgent action.
Every disability is unique in itself. Deficiencies in hearing, speech, vision, mobility, and intelligence have its own unique challenges. But “mental challenge” or “intellectual impairment” requires a special consideration among special needs because the cognition is limited and hence this population is extra vulnerable. They have limitation in acquiring knowledge or skill, in taking decisions required in life, understanding situations and discerning dangers. Additionally they could have physical limitations too. Some with multiple disabilities may have mental challenges as a basic limitation. If one’s cognition is intact, today’s technology can reasonably provide the necessary compensation to make up for the impairments or provide alternate methods. If one has only hearing impairment, it is possible to use hearing aids or cochlear implants to help with hearing. The Deaf population use sign language or written language to communicate. Augmentative and Alternative communication (AAC) strategies can be used by those who are non-verbal or having difficulty with speech. Wheelchairs and a host of mobility devices can be used by orthopedically impaired. The best example of a person with disability but no intellectual impairment, who can live a full life with the help of technology is Prof. Stephen Hawking. He is currently the most respected scientist on planet Earth. But when it comes to cognition impairment, little can be done to compensate for the impairment with technology as the person needs assistance in every aspect of daily life continuously. For this population, the State has to provide adequate laws that will protect them from abuse, neglect and discrimination. Our constitution assures in its preamble all citizens to have equal opportunity, but for individuals with mental challenges, this doesn’t carry any meaning when he or she is not able to advocate for themselves.
Some of the personal stories narrated in today’s meeting are worth hearing. Because that will stir our conscience and also help us to understand some of the realities. One nun, who runs a special school and orphanage narrated the case of about 10 girls whom she has provided shelter in her institution because they have been sexually abused and the families didn’t want them in their homes. Another person who runs an orphanage narrated the stories of several mentally challenged women who come and give birth to babies and the orphanage takes care of the children while the mothers are taken back by the families. The mothers don’t even know how to tend for the babies and hence don’t feel anything when they are taken away from their own babies. Another person who is the principal of a special school narrated an incident that happened in his town. A mentally challenged boy pushed another youngster while they were participating in a Nabi Dina Rally. The youngster fell down but nothing much happened. However, the uncle of the youngster, who was watching this, mercilessly beat up the mentally challenged kid. The boy had to be hospitalized with serious injuries. The people who saw the incident filed a complaint with the Police but they refused to file a case against the influential uncle. He roams around free in the town while the boy remains in the hospital. His mother is helpless.
I met a few passionate lawyers who have the expertize to draft a bill. I met a few service providers and professionals who knew the problems and are able to pin point the problems faces by this population. The Child Rights Commission Chairperson and her team gave the leadership to bring all of these good people together. I am confident when people with different expertize who are passionate and committed come together we can provide the framework needed to protect the less privileged in our society. I see a ray of hope!
Blog Entry by the Executive Director - Dr. Samuel N. Mathew
We had VVIP visitors yesterday on campus. Shri. Tawar Chand Gehlot is the Union Minister for Social Justice and Empowerment. He visited NISH along with Shri. Luv Varma, IAS Secretary and Shri. Awanish Kumar Awasthi, IAS Jt. Secretary of his ministry.
Mr. Gehlot is a seasoned politician of many years who has held numerous government positions. He has keen interest in social justice and upliftment and that makes his leadership a good fit for the ministry. This ministry has two major wings – Department of Social Justice and Empowerment and Department for Empowerment of Persons with Disabilities. Shri. Varma, IAS is the Secretary and Shri. Awasthi, IAS is Jt. Secretary in DEPwD.
The visit was initiated by the Ministry and we were pleased that he took the time to come and visit our students and staff. Being the only program in Trivandrum, this was the highlight of his visit to Kerala yesterday. He spent time with the children, went around the departments and spent time asking questions. He addressed the NISH family at a meeting in the new Auditorium. The government of Kerala was represented by Shri. A. Shajahan, IAS, Secretary for Department of Social Justice. The meeting itself was informal. In fact, we got the auditorium ready for his meeting. This was the first meeting in the new building.
Two children – one from the Early Intervention Program for the Deaf and the other from the Autism Intervention Program – performed. For them to do that in front of the audience was a challenge. For a few minutes we just held our breath as the child from AIP stood quietly. For a minute I thought we should call it off, if the child is not able to handle the big crowd staring at her. But suddenly she recouped and recited a Malayalam poem beautifully. The Minister was quick to react, and gave two bouquets of flowers to the children.
The other highlight was the portrait done by one of our students, Bobbin. He presented it to the Minister. Another beautiful painting done by Bala was also presented. As the meeting progressed, Arun Gopal, a faculty in the BFA department drew the caricature of the three visitors and presented them at the end of the meeting. A pleasant surprise for all of them. They were clearly overjoyed to look at their own caricature done in real time!
The Minister and his party went on for a meeting with the Chief Minister at his official residence – Cliff House. Officials from other organizations were also present. The CM had a very positive approach and the discussions were very open. He offered all sorts of help for the Central Schemes that provides help for the marginalized population. At the end of the talks he invited all of us for lunch in his house. As I understand that is quite unusual considering his busy schedule. He almost spent 2 hours with the Central team. A good rapport was seen between the two leaders – although they belong to totally opposing political parties. I think this is what is required – the ability to come together for the wellbeing of the people despite political differences.
The minister declared the amounts to be allocated for NISH – mostly based on the DPR. Impressive figures. Right now we will focus on the immediate needs. We hope to create a facility that will be a model campus with a culture that will spell excellence. A culture of inclusion and celebration of diversity. Culture transcends generations and that is what we hope for – an institutional culture that will be taken through the coming generations, even after we are all gone!